he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
