I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
