Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
