I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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