What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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