Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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