white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Shame is for Republicans.
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