My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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