he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
