Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
