There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
