How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
