So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
