Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize