I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
