that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
