I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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