At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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