That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
