i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
