Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
