i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Are we still banned from the library?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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