Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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