Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
