What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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