she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
