I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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