We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
