You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
