dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
