may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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