She said her name was "party"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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