i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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