seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
