I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
