I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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