last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
