Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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