oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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