There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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