At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
