how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
