you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize