Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
