His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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