im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
