i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
