So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is Oprah even human
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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