Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
