thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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