It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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