i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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