The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
