? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
