Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
