Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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