i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
