is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
