It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
