when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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