its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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