There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize