ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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