New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
