Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
