How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
