Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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