i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
After tacos, we're chasing women.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
