recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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