i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize