Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
