I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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